Never Ending Thoughts
by MistMirror
Summary: His thoughts about Katniss and his never ending love for her.  Starts from the second book, from chapter 60 I will start writing random things not based on the events that happen in the second book or the third book.
1. Chapter 1

Hello,  
>Hope you like this story to.<br>The whole thing will be based on Catching Fire.  
>If you haven't read my Hunger Games (only the book) inspired fanfic of the same kind, please go to my profile or search for the fanfic:<br>**'Katniss, please don't die'**

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><p>Forgetting you would be fatal.<br>I can't live without seeing you, once a day.  
>Most of the days I stare out of the window.<br>Hoping I would see you.


	2. Chapter 2

True passion comes from the heart.  
>When I try to write words on paper, I can't do it.<br>Most of the time I draw out of my memories.


	3. Chapter 3

When winter is coming, I don't know what to do.  
>If we go on our Victory tour, will we be in love?<br>Will you pretend it or will it be real?  
>I am afraid it will go wrong.<br>That we die, afterwards.  
>That everyone will die because of us.<br>Katniss, for the sake of whole district 12, please love me for real?


	4. Chapter 4

Every time I look outside, I can't stop thinking about it.  
>The grey sky.<br>The white grass.  
>The lifeless trees.<br>Life drains out of everything and everyone.  
>I hope it won't happen to us.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

When I paint.  
>Times flies,<br>Memories come back.  
>And every time I paint, the moments with you in the cave starts showing up.<br>If there wouldn't be a Hunger Games or one survivor,  
>I would have stayed there forever.<br>With you.


	6. Chapter 6

Splashing colors.  
>Silent colors.<br>Colors of the ocean.  
>Colors of spring.<br>Colors of life.  
>Colors of death.<br>Colors of hope.  
>I try to find a color that resembles you.<br>I can't seem to find it.  
>I think I lost you somewhere in the dark colors.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

When I bake, I don't think.  
>I don't talk.<br>I don't blink.  
>I don't breath.<br>Bread reminds me of you,  
>When I explained every district each had a different kind of bread.<br>I just wish...  
>That we would be together.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

In my dreams I scream.  
>I fear.<br>I die several times.  
>I see moments I don't want to see.<br>Those moments always come back.  
>I wish you were by my side.<br>Holding me with your warm hands that don't seem to fear.  
>Kissing me with all your love.<br>That every tiny bit of those nightmares disappears.  
>And that you take the place instead of my nightmares.<br>I would be happy again.


	9. Chapter 9

Everything I say to you.  
>Everytime I laugh to you.<br>I try to make it real.  
>To let you see I am alright.<br>I don't want you to see me crumble right before your eyes.  
>I can't let you get hurt by me.<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

I can't seem to think of anything else but our Victory Tour.  
>There we will be together.<br>Even if it means that you fake your love to me.  
>I will give it my all to you.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

It wasn't a secret.  
>It wasn't a dream.<br>It was nothing.  
>Although, it felt like something<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

Sometimes...  
>I don't know...<br>What to do.  
>What to say.<br>All I can do is paint every emotion on a blank canvas.


	13. Chapter 13

Most painting don't resemble love.  
>Let alone happines.<br>All it projects is fear.  
>Hunger.<br>Death.  
>Pain.<p>

I can't find a way to paint love.  
>Maybe I can't express it in paintings.<br>Words are enough.


	14. Chapter 14

Victory Tour.  
>It begins.<br>Exited and hopeful,  
>that is how I felt.<br>When you were smiling and ran to me,  
>It didn't seem fake,<br>It felt real.


	15. Chapter 15

Eyes can see the truth.  
>If you watch very carefully,<br>I can see something isn't right.  
>Something you won't tell me.<br>You know you can tell me anything.


	16. Chapter 16

I never want you to leave.  
>I never want you to go.<br>I only want to hold you in my arms.  
>Forever.<p> 


	17. Chapter 17

Trains seem dark to me.  
>Maybe because of that day.<br>That hollow feeling appears, just like then.  
>Why did you have to say that to me?<p> 


	18. Chapter 18

Dark Dreams.  
>Nightmares.<br>Everything seems so real.  
>Feel like losing you.<br>You are far away.  
>'Katniss!' I scream.<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

Shattered.  
>I am shattered in pieces.<br>I don't know what way to go.  
>Neither I know what to do.<br>You could say I am just hopeless.  
>For loving you.<br>For never getting a real chance.


	20. Chapter 20

Saying sorry wouldn't mean anything.  
>But even if you say it to me,<br>I have to say it to you.  
>So we can forgive each other.<br>For what we have done.  
>Thought.<br>Said.


	21. Chapter 21

Getting to know you again...  
>Somehow...<br>I would be a dream come true.


	22. Chapter 22

District 11.  
>Right before our eyes.<br>No way to escape our tears.  
>Rue and Thresh, I hope you are doing fine.<br>Even if you are far away,  
>I will still remember you.<p> 


	23. Chapter 23

I can't say nothing without love.  
>I can't say nothing without any feeling.<br>Most of the thing I say are true and honest.  
>The speech I helt in district 11 was nothing.<br>Those words were from my heart.


	24. Chapter 24

Something so small.  
>That grows so big.<br>A small sign, a small gesture.  
>It all ended with one gunshot.<br>Nothing more and nothing less.  
>I wished I could be there for you,<br>Although I saw you far away, dragged away by peacekeepers.  
>Just like me.<br>I worries for a second,  
>that I might not see you again.<p> 


	25. Chapter 25

I can't lie.  
>Even if it means death.<br>I will tell you the truth,  
>even if it meant losing our friendship that we build up so far.<br>I wish you could do the same  
>and just tell me the truth.<br>But you didn't...  
>Why did you make me mad again?<p> 


	26. Chapter 26

Why is it that everytime I see you,  
>that it somehow feels wrong in my mind?<br>But that it feels right in my heart.  
>I think the banquet somehow changed my mind when you held my hand and gave me some kisses.<br>I know you faked it, but still somewhere far away in my mind and in my heart,  
>I don't care that it is fake.<p> 


	27. Chapter 27

I can give it my all and not regret it...  
>Or I can hold back, regretting it forever.<br>The first option is the wisest.


	28. Chapter 28

It is somewhere in my mind,  
>My dreams,<br>Where it feels that you are always there.  
>For me.<p> 


	29. Chapter 29

If it is for friendship or for love.  
>I know that we never would be teared apart.<p> 


	30. Chapter 30

My love for you,  
>there are no other words.<br>Let's fly away,  
>together with the birds.<p> 


	31. Chapter 31

I hold your hand tight and close.  
>I kiss you on the cheek, true and loved.<br>I whisper in you ear,  
>all the sweet thing you need to hear.<p> 


	32. Chapter 32

My heartbeat is raising when you stand next to me.  
>My eyes are attached on you as you move gracefully with every step.<br>My hands want to hold you, to protect you until I die.  
>Nothing else matters as long as you're there.<br>The worlds around me starts to disappear.  
>For me, a place where there is only you and me.<br>That is the place where I belong.


	33. Chapter 33

You suggested a proposal.  
>The Capitol, where all the people would go insane if it would happen.<br>For me, it feels something so wrong.  
>To me, you are desperate.<br>To me, this isn't real or from the heart.  
>For you it is means nothing.<br>For me it does.  
>It should be on the right place and on the right time.<br>This isn't the place or the time.

I nod, because I agreed, because I didn't want to hurt you.  
>Silently I walked away.<br>Once in my room,  
>I cried silently under the sheets of the bed.<p> 


	34. Chapter 34

I let my heart out.  
>I spoke from my heart, like you would expect.<br>I said everything I had to when I proposed on live television.  
>To convince you that if we were doing this.<br>You should learn to love me,  
>to make this work.<br>We are going to get married soon.  
>There is no way back.<br>Love me, Katniss.  
>Or else you will regret it the rest of your life.<p> 


	35. Chapter 35

Is it normal to hold your hand?  
>Is it normal if I kiss you?<br>Is it normal to say 'I love you.'?  
>Is normal for you to say 'I love you to.'?<br>I wish it was.  
>Then, at least, everything we did would mean something.<p> 


	36. Chapter 36

Dreams must somehow come to an end,  
>when I stepped on the platform of the station of district 12.<br>I held your hand just for the camera's,  
>but your hand was cold.<br>It felt like the bond we made, disappeared.


	37. Chapter 37

Back at home, I still have those nightmares.  
>Where you are far away.<br>In the distant I see you are attacked by wolves.  
>They bite the flesh from your bones.<br>I run...  
>And I run...<br>But it feels like I am getting further away for you.  
>I feel like losing you.<p> 


	38. Chapter 38

I left the past behind me.  
>And I left the sadness and sorrow behind me.<br>I would accept everything you do,  
>everything you say.<br>I would even accept it if Gale is the one for you.  
>Because I wish you a good life.<p> 


	39. Chapter 39

It was this one day, when you ran into me.  
>For the first time in days we had a conversation.<br>Then you asked me that question:  
><em>'Peeta, if I asked you to run away from the district with me, would you?'<br>_First I had my doubts.  
>That Gale should be the one going with you<br>And that you would leave your family.  
>You convinced me with your answer.<br>In the end I replied:  
><em>'Sure, Katniss, I'll go.'<br>_Because I would follow you if you aksed me to.


	40. Chapter 40

We walked to the square.  
>Together.<br>When I saw something.  
>Something that might hurt you.<br>And hunt you in your dreams.  
>Sonething that would never let you go in any other way.<br>I said you should leave.  
>That you need to get home.<br>But you pushed me aside.  
>And pushed though the crowd before us.<br>You should have left when I asked you to.  
>Your worst nightmare is up ahead.<p> 


	41. Chapter 41

I stood here.  
>Nailed to the ground<br>I couldn't do anything.  
>Nothing.<br>I know I should protect you, but my feet won't move.  
>Maybe because of fear.<br>Of sorrow.  
>Of any feeling that has to do with you.<br>I couldn't bear watching you get hurt.  
>Finally, I pushed through the crowd.<br>I saw you with an expression in your eyes, that made me mad.  
>At The Capitol.<br>The peacekeepers.  
>Everyone who is related with The Capitol.<p> 


	42. Chapter 42

How could they let you get hurt?  
>Why would they do that?<br>Why?  
>I don't understand anything about those people.<br>It is power that appeals to them.  
>The power to rule over people.<br>To hurt people.  
>To watch people die.<p>

Why does no one care about emotions?  
>It is painful to see how they hurt you.<br>I feel the pain in my heart.


	43. Chapter 43

**Merry Christmas! :D**

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><p>Never felt more guilt.<br>I never felt more pain.  
>I couldn't do a thing.<br>I did nothing.  
>Nothing.<p> 


	44. Chapter 44

Relieve hit me,  
>when I helt your hand.<br>Save with me.  
>Although you weren't protected by me,<br>but by Haymitch.  
>I am forever in his debt.<p> 


	45. Chapter 45

Can I be stronger?  
>Stronger than I already am?<br>Stronger to protect you.  
>I don't feel strong enough.<p> 


	46. Chapter 46

I don't know how to feel after all that happened.  
>I don't know how to react...<br>The only thing I know is that one thing isn't right.  
>And that is the Capitol.<br>I will never forgive them.


	47. Chapter 47

Softly I close the door, leaving you with Gale alone.  
>For now that is the best thing I can do.<p> 


	48. Chapter 48

Never mind the snow that falls outside.  
>Never mind the birds who fly.<br>Never mind anything or anyone.  
>I only think about you.<p> 


	49. Chapter 49

No words can describe my love for you.  
>Even if you hate me or detest me,<br>no words can describe the way I feel.


	50. Chapter 50

When everyone is silent,  
>and it is all about you and me<br>Would you leave or would you stay?  
>Will you love me or will you hate me?<br>Will we stay together?

I would stay by you, my love.  
>We will stay together, forever no matter what happens.<br>If you leave I would follow you everywhere you go.  
>I would try everything for you to like me.<p> 


	51. Chapter 51

I have never seen such a thing.  
>When I looked out of the window, like I always do,<br>peacekeepers walked to your house and entered.  
>As time passed by, they never left.<br>I was so worried, but when someone called me I became a lot more worried.


	52. Chapter 52

I waited for you.  
>Silent.<br>I am longing for you,  
>In silence.<br>I am hoping you won't be hurt.  
>Silent.<br>No one can hear me praying that you would come home.


	53. Chapter 53

Hours seem to pass within minutes.  
>Seconds are passing so slowly.<br>I feel like giving up on waiting.  
>Why don't I juts go and look for you?<p> 


	54. Chapter 54

I waited so long...  
>Then finally you finally came,<br>hurt.  
>You looked surprised and speechless.<br>From your eyed I could tell that you where searching for words.  
>Before you even said them the right words came out of my mouth.<p> 


	55. Chapter 55

Never mind the peacekeepers.  
>Never mind anyone else.<br>Trust me for who I am and tell me what happened.


	56. Chapter 56

If my heart was a timebom and only when my love for you would be the trigger.  
>I know for sure the time that bom will explode will never explode.<br>I will never stop loving you.  
>Never.<p> 


	57. Chapter 57

One heartbeat was all it took.  
>Nothing more and nothing less.<p> 


	58. Chapter 58

There is one thing I would wish for.  
>And that is you.<br>Only you.


	59. Chapter 59

If my words won't reach you,  
>what else can I do?<p> 


	60. Chapter 60

Before you ever saw me,  
>before we started talking,<br>I always had dreams and I hoped those dreams would go on forever.  
>But they always ended.<br>But now, with you close to me, it feels like those dreams are going on forever


	61. Chapter 61

Because not every person is the same,  
>Because our past is not the same,<br>Because our dreams are not the same,  
>Because our family and our friends aren't the same,<br>Because we don't have the same opinions,  
>doesn't mean that we don't belong together.<p>

It is the differences that make us who we are  
>And those differences make us love each other.<p> 


End file.
